Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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