bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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