Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize