This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize