I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
