she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You pole danced in your parka.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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