the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
