How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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