I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
