My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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