she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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