That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
