I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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