she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
