i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
