did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize