The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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