He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
