The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
