Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
