i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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