Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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