I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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