Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
