i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
