Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
