Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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