When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
don't judge my taste in strippers
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize