I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
