you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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