So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
