its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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