you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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