is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
