i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
