Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
