I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
