Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
