idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
