i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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