Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize