You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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