let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
