is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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