im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
