so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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