Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Barsexuality is the new black.
either way he was missing a nipple.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
