He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
and you fell through a lawn chair
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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