If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
