capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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