I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
