God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
