I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize