Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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