i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
