haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
