Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
