Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
