I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
