She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
